I Hate It

I know it is for the best
But I hate it
Detest it
Reject it in absentia

It makes my insides squirm
It makes my outsides leak

I hate it

I want it to go away

I want you to come back

Even as I know that is not right
Is not best
Is not healthy for me

Or for you

But I hate it

I hate it viciously
Viscerally
Bitterly

I turn it over
And over
And over

The dimensions don’t change
It won’t shift the way I want
The sums just won’t add up
The factors persist

So I sit
And wait
And cry

Wishing I was strong
And sure

Wishing it didn’t hurt so much
My soul depleted
I only have band-aids

First aid no match for despair
No balm for desperation

“the best”
a lie
a joke
A story told in 3/4 time

The best is not good
The best hurts like hell

As did the worst

So where it the right?
Where is the light?

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